As we’ve learned earlier, almost all assaults occur at the hands of someone the child knows and trusts. Molesters usually care for the child and commit acts because they’ve convinced themselves the child will enjoy it. A child not agreeing to go along with their wishes will in most cases prevent the assault from happening.
When It’s OK to Say No
Sit down with your kids and have a talk with them about when it’s OK to say no to an adult. Even though children should be trained to be respectful to adults and generally listen to them, there are certain times when its OK to say no to an adult:
- When an adult asks you to do something you know is wrong
- When an adult wants to touch you in a way you do not want to be touched
- When an adult wants you to do something that is a secret from your parents
Try going over a few scenarios with your children and have them tell you whether or not it is acceptable to say no:
- Your mom asks you to take out the trash
- Your teacher tells you to sit down on the floor
- An uncle wants you to put your hand inside his jeans and touch his personal area
- Your dad asks you to change the outfit you have on
- A neighbor wants to take pictures of you with your clothes off
- Your mom tells you to take off your clothes for bath time
The Resistance Progression
We have formulated a resistance progression for children to use in standing up to a molesters advances.
1) When someone asks them to do something that makes them feel funny inside or uncomfortable, they should tell that person. First they should respond with something like “I don’t like that” or “Please don’t do that to me” or “That hurts me.”
2) If for some reason that does not work they should yell “NO!” or “STOP IT!” in a loud and confidant voice.
3) If a potential molester ever proceeds beyond that point, then they should start to cry, fuss, resist, and do whatever they can to let that person know they do not like what is happening to them. A child’s cry is a very effective tool. Adults by nature respond to it. It also works effectively to take molesters out of the mood to commit an act. If crying doesn’t work, nothing will.
Practice with Your Kids
Have children practice asserting themselves using the resistance progression. Pretend to be someone trying to get them to do something they shouldn’t, using some of the examples below. Have children first respond nicely. Keep pressuring them (just as a molester might) until they shout out “No!” or “Stop it!” Take a few of the scenarios farther, and have them pretend to cry. Make a game of this, and kids will have a blast doing it.
- Take off your clothes for me.
- Lets go steal something from the store.
- Come help me beat up that little kid
I want to teach you a new game to play but you cant tell your parents.
Abuse Prevention Resources for Kids:
I Just Said No! A printable PDF
More Information Abuse Prevention:
- Step 1: Raising Sexually Healthy Children
- Step 2: Healthy Body Awareness
- Step 3: Teaching Children to Trust Their Instincts
- Step 4: All About Touches
- Step 5: Everyday Rules
- Step 6: A Child’s Rights
- Step 7: Empowering Your Children
- Step 8: Coaching & Bribes
- Step 9: Proper People Perceptions
- Step 10: Defeating Secrecy
- Step 11: Asking the Right Questions
- Step 12: Making Your Child A Hard Target