Verbal child abuse is the most common form of child maltreatment. What most people don’t realize is that it’s also typically the most destructive. We all remember the school yard phrase: Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. Anyone who has lived beyond the age of four also knows this to be one of the biggest lies ever told. Words do hurt, and they can have a profound impact. A verbal assault can be just as severe as any physical attack.
Verbal abuse is so widespread that every child will be exposed at some point in their lives, whether from parents, peers, or teachers and other caregivers. When it is limited in duration, and when kids have other sources of love and support in their lives, most will endure it without any lasting scars. But when verbal abuse is ongoing, as is typically the case when children must cope with a verbally abusive parent, it trashes a child’s self-esteem and sense of self-worth more than any other type of child abuse. The resources listed below will help you understand the problem and intervene in ways that will help verbally or emotionally abused children.
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See also: Psychological & emotional child abuse
H3 Adults verbally abusing children
“While physical and sexual abuse can be quantified and categorized according to bruises, fractures, burns, rape … emotional and verbal abuse – the pattern of continually undermining and belittling a child through criticism and verbal attacks – is equally damaging, and much more insidious. Verbal abuse is more common than either physical or sexual abuse, and yet it is seldom adequately identified or treated.”
– Slaby & Garfinkel, psychologists who work with teen suicides, (1996, p. 88)
The verbal abuse of children is one of the most prevalent types of abuse in our society, and it’s also among the most damaging. It manages to avoid public scrutiny, in part because it is so common, and in part because it’s tedious to define and measure, as it occurs in numerous forms and doesn’t leave a physical trace. (Bojkova, 2008; Evans, 1993) Yet despite this lack of attention, verbal abuse is generally more harmful than the other forms of abuse which do garner the public spotlight.
More information on verbal child abuse
The following pages will discuss verbal child abuse in greater detail:
- Adults Putting Children Down
- What Is Verbal & Emotional Abuse?
- Types of Verbal & Emotional Abuse
- Prevalence of Verbal & Emotional Abuse
- Calling Children Names
- Criticizing, Comparing & Blaming Children
- Effects & Consequences of Verbal & Emotional Abuse
Resources to help verbally abused kids
The following resources are designed to help verbally abused kids:
This printable workbook/coloring book talks about why adults say cruel things while exploring concepts that will help a child ease the pain caused by verbal abuse. Recommended for children in preschool and elementary school; intended to be used under adult supervision.
Wounded Puppies free online eBook for kids
A general-purpose social intelligence book that will help verbally abused children understand and the various forms it takes. that hostility comes from hurt and insecurity.