Does your child struggle with low self-esteem? This information will help you answer that question and better understand why kids have low self-esteem.
What causes low self-esteem in children
Low self-esteem in children can be attributable to any number of causes. A child’s self-esteem can be influenced by their overall temperament: Just as some children are shy whereas others are bold and outgoing, some kids are simply more naturally confident and sure of themselves than others. Inbuilt traits such as a child’s intelligence or aptitude for creativity can also play a role in determining which kids struggle with low self-esteem. Youth with developmental delays, for instance, are especially likely to have low self-esteem.
There are also many experiences and/or conditions in the environment that can lower children’s self-esteem:
- Bullying or teasing at school
- Verbal or emotional abuse by a parent
- Parental abandonment or an absent/missing parent
- Lack of love and affection in the home
- Having a parent in prison
- Divorce
- Living in a single-parent household
- Spending time in foster care
- Being adopted
- Physical or sexual abuse
- Substance abuse in the family
- Humiliating experiences
Socioeconomic factors such as living in poverty can have a profound impact on a child’s self-esteem, so kids from poor neighborhoods are much more likely to struggle with self-esteem issues than are kids in affluent families. Birth order can also be a major factor, with middle children being more likely to struggle with low self-esteem than the oldest or youngest kids in the family. Finally, parenting styles are another often overlooked driver of low self-esteem in children. Parents who are overprotective, overly fearful, who hover over their kids and who do too much for their children while providing little opportunity for independence can absolutely shred their child’s self-confidence.
How to tell if your child has low self-esteem: Signs & symptoms of self-esteem problems in children
Here are some indications that your child might be struggling with low self-esteem:
- Gets down on themselves easily
- Wants to give up if they aren’t good at something right away
- Lacks confidence in their abilities
- Reluctant to try new things
- Shy, timid, or passive and submissive around other children
- Reluctant to take the lead or speak up for themselves; lets others boss them around
- Overly critical or hard on themselves
- Afraid of failure
- Asks adults to do things they could do for themselves
- Constantly seeking reassurance
- Submissive body postures (slumped shoulders, head down, etc.)
- An incessant need for validation or a tendency to brag (which can be driven by this need for validation).
What to do about low self-esteem in children
If you’re worried your child might have low self-esteem, you can find tips to address this on our improving your child’s self-esteem page.
See also…
- Attitudes That Promote A Positive Self-Esteem In Children
- Improve Your Child’s Self-Esteem
- Low Self-Esteem in Children
- The Self-Esteem Trap: Wrong Ways to Promote Self-Esteem in Children