Sleep Anxiety In Children

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Some kids will become extremely anxious around bedtime and require a seemingly endless supply of comforts and reassurances in order to fall asleep. Sleep anxiety is commonly seen in children with a general anxiety disorder, as bedtime routines are a common trigger for anxiety in kids.

There are two basic versions of sleep anxiety. One is anxiety revolving around sleep itself. A child worries that she won’t be able to fall asleep, and that idea plagues her thoughts, leading to a self-fulfilling pattern of insomnia.

The second type of anxiety revolves around specific fears or anxious thoughts. These are the kids who lie awake at night imagining that vampires are sneaking up in the dark, or who dwell on all the day’s stresses the moment they lay down and try to go to sleep. Often times this second form of sleep anxiety ends up creating the first, as anxious thoughts keep a child awake at night to the point where they’re fearful of trying to go to sleep.

Children with sleep anxiety need excessive attention in order to get to sleep. They may demand that you stay with them until they nod off and require excessive bedtime rituals, or fuss and cry when you leave the room. They often appear panicked and almost act as kids often do on the first day of school – worried about what’s to come and not wanting you to leave.

Signs & Symptoms of child sleep anxiety

Of course, not all children who exhibit such behavior have true sleep anxiety. Many kids will do things like this because they crave the attention. In other cases, what starts as a legitimate anxiety can turn into a ploy for attention as time goes on. It’s up to you to figure out whether your child’s behavior is a ploy for more attention or true anxiety. Here are some guidelines that might help you do so:

  • Are they willing to accept punishment or suffer your displeasure so long as they can stay with you? If so, then their anxiety is real.

  • Does she sleep well when she sleeps with you? This is another sign their anxiety is likely real.

  • Does she protest when you bring her to her room, or does she allow you to walk her back willingly? The fist scenario is likely a sign of true anxiety, whereas the second could signal an attention-seeking habit.

  • Did it arise rather abruptly, or has it been a slow descent into bedtime struggles? True anxiety tends to arise rather abruptly in response to specific triggers.

  • Does a child also struggle with anxiety during the day? If a progressive worsening of nighttime anxiety coincides with a worsening of daytime anxiety, then it’s likely your child is struggling with a general anxiety disorder. (See our book Anxious Children for more information.)

  • Is she able to sleep at friends? If she struggles in these other settings as well, it’s likely true anxiety.

  • Does your child ask you anxious questions or elaborate on their fears? A child who repeatedly asks whether thunder is coming tonight, or who describes his anxieties in detail, is more likely to be suffering from real anxiety than one who gives vague reasons or only brings it up when you tell her it’s time to go to sleep on her own

What causes sleep anxiety in children?

There are a number of reasons that kids might become anxious around bedtime: Excessive stress; fear that they won’t be able to sleep or that they might have nightmares; arguments with parents or being scolded before bed; and so on.

Sleep anxiety can be triggered by a bad experience. One child developed problems after a thunderstorm frightened him during the night. In other cases a really bad nightmare can do the trick A night of insomnia may also trigger sleep anxiety. Fearful about going to bed and repeating the same dreadful experience, they grow more anxious about bedtime in general.

Going to sleep on your own in a big dark room can be scary. It requires courage, demands faith that after losing consciousness you’ll wake up again, and involves separation from one’s primary caretakers. This is why bedtime rituals are such a common trigger for children with a general anxiety disorder. They can trigger stress and a sense of abandonment, all while providing a vehicle for a child’s darkest fears.

Another reason for nighttime anxiety, and again this is especially true for children with an underlying anxiety disorder, is that bedtime is the one time of the day children are left alone with their thoughts. They’re all by themselves in a dark room with nothing to keep their mind occupied. Which means whatever monsters may be lurking inside that head of theirs may decide bedtime is the perfect time to come out and play.

In the quiet time just before they go to sleep, all the day’s worries may come flooding back. If they were teased at school, yelled at by their parents, or are worried about an impending divorce–whatever stresses exist in their lives are most intensely felt whenever they’re not preoccupied and all alone (i.e.., bedtime). Children with OCD or an anxiety disorder may find their mind running through all manner of disturbing thought even if they aren’t especially stressed.

For information on how to treat sleep anxiety in children:

Are nighttime hassles giving your a problem?  Is it a struggle to get your kids on a regular sleep schedule? Are you struggling with insomnia yourself?  Get our Family Sleep eBook, which is chock full of useful advice you wont find online.  It’s just $7.99, and all proceeds from your purchase go to help kids in need.

 

 

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