Modern society has an uncanny ability for making the natural seem unnatural. A prime example of this is the widespread belief that nudity or body exposure is somehow harmful to children. Many parents assume that it’s traumatizing for children to be seen in the nude, or for them to see others naked. There’s certainly no shortage ofpeople espousing this idea throughout popular culture, and such a belief can have drastic real-world consequences: Parents are investigated for bath pictures. People call the police because a 10-year-old girl participates in an organized naked bike ride. Children are rushed to the clinician’s office for extensive therapy if they encounter a flasher. Recently a psychopathic father murdered an entire family over an alleged exposure incident by their teenage son.
These may be extreme examples, but many parents have more everyday questions and concerns about nakedness and nudity wherein children are concerned. Since a fundamental part of raising sexually healthy children is raising them to be unashamed of their bodies while treating the genitals as no more taboo than their fingers or toes, it’s important to shatter this myth once and for all.
Is nudity harmful to children?
The answer to this question has two parts. Let’s start with the second part and then work our way back to the first.
2. Nudity has the potential to make children embarrassed, ashamed or uncomfortable
From the moment children are born we begin to saddle them with body shame. Through both words and actions, along with the basic fact that we routinely keep certain areas of the body covered in front of others, we send the not-so-subtle message that these areas are shameful, repulsive, naughty, embarrassing, or taboo. Lack of familiarity in and of itself can make something seem strange, and thus, more uncomfortable. As time goes on this body shame starts to sink into a child’s psychology, and kids become more uncomfortable with nudity, whether their own or, to a lesser extent, that of others.
Toddlers have no qualms whatsoever about nudity, and would streak through the supermarket naked if you let them. Preschoolers have usually learned such behavior is taboo, but nonetheless are still relatively shame-free, and show no discomfort disrobing in front of adults. In a survey of preschool teachers, 94% said their children often exhibited a distinct interest in their genitals and would show them off to others. (Gunderson, Melas & Skar, 1981, p. 53) But as the scoldings and recriminations continue to build, and as children grow more socially aware and sensitive to the judgment of others, they start to grow more and more uncomfortable with their bodies. Sexual shame sinks deep into their psyche, and by elementary school the same girl who used to run across the front lawn stark naked might feel humiliated removing her shirt to expose her bare chest, even though her breasts at this age are no different from any of the boys who routinely go topless.
So to the extent that children have internalized body shame so that nakedness (their own or others) can embarrass a child or make them uncomfortable, nudity could potentially have a negative emotional impact. It can even lead to suicide, such as when children are sextorted over nude selfies or a nude picture of themselves leaks out to other kids at school. However, all of this comes with one giant caveat: None of this is natural. It’s a direct consequence of the body shame and stigmatizing messages we incubate our children in, and represents a form of extremely destructive psychological abuse our culture inflicts upon its children.
This shame is not something innate or inevitable, but a direct consequence of the ideas we promote about different areas of the body. A girl in Samoa would be embarrassed to expose her navel, but not her breasts. If you stripped them naked in public, a Sumatran girl would cover her knees, a Laotian woman covers her breasts, an Islamic woman would cover her face, whereas an American girl would cover her genitals with one hand and her breasts with another. Girls from many indigenous tribes would feel no need to cover anything at all. Among certain tribes in Asia girls wear neck rings, and while they often bathe in public without any shame of people seeing their breasts, buttocks or vulva, they do feel naked and rush to cover themselves if the neck rings are removed and their bare neck is showing. Meanwhile, another anthropologist reported on how a teenage girl who had no qualms about walking around her village naked (as was the custom in her tribe) nonetheless ran and hid in the bushes in shame when a wooden rod was removed from her pierced lower lip. (Colton, 1983; Turnbull, 1981, p. 222; National Geographic Taboo, 10-27-2009; Thompson & Hickey, 2008, p. 168) None of this is the least bit natural, it’s a direct response to the type of body shame each culture promotes.
1. Nudity is both natural and harmless
Under natural conditions, nudity isn’t the least bit harmful to children. (Gardner, 1975) In fact, as I’ll get to shortly, research shows it can be extremely beneficial for kids. We came into this world naked, and up until fairly recently in human history, clothing was optional—something worn out of necessity or for ceremony. For 99.999% of human history, naked children interacted with naked adults all the time without the slightest hint ofharm. Even today in nudist societies or the last remaining indigenous communities, nude children interact with nude adults. They walk together, play together, bathe together, wrestle and roughhouse together, sit on laps, ride on shoulders, hug and hang on waists— all those things kids are prone to do in any other setting. Children are seen in the nude and view others of both sexes naked, and they will come into direct physical contact with the genitals of adults on a daily basis, all without the slightest bit of harm being done. So assuming body exposure is inherently traumatic is rather silly, akin to saying children are harmed by sunshine. Body shame and body discomfort are cultural inventions, a result of society stigmatizing what’s natural and creating harm where it needn’t exist.
Is it harmful for kids to see adults naked?
Many people assume that it’s harmful for children to see an adult in the nude. In our current climate, with all the hype and hysteria over molestation, it’s often assumed that any exposure to nudity, especially the genitals ofthe opposite sex, is traumatizing for children. This idea is so ingrained that it’s presumed kids exposed to a flasher need extensive psychotherapy to recover from this incident.
Yet as previously discussed, a simple history and culture lesson dispels this myth. Throughout most of human history children were exposed to adult nudity on a daily basis without the slightest bit of harm. Even in modern times, there are many open families who bathe together or whose parents walk around in the house naked, and there’s no evidence that this is in any way harmful.
Are children frightened or scared by nudity?
Another common myth is that children are frightened or traumatized at the sight of nudity, especially adult nudity. This is rarely the case. Children are usually more curious and intrigued than anything else. In fact, studies show that voyeurism is extremely common among children, and kids will sometimes go to great lengths to peep on others in the nude to try and see what other bodies are like. (Janus & Bess, 1981, p. 79; Friedrich et al., 1998)
“I was recently informed by a preschooler in the midst of what I foolishly assumed would be a private shower …that Daddy’s boobies are smaller yet hairier than Mommy’s (a conclusion, I’ll note, for which the entire family is grateful, two times over).”
-Sam Sommers (2011, p. 180)
Contrary to being scared or frightened, actress Emma Thompson describes being intrigued by the nonchalant actors she encountered in theater on her mother and father’s set: “Going backstage was the most thrilling thing, because even though we were children, the actors were so open. I remember the actor playing Bottom once opening the dressing room door to me, because my dad had said, ‘Go and just knock on the door.’ You’d open the door and he was absolutely stark naked except for his really interesting black G-string codpiece. I was on an eye level with the codpiece, and Ijust remember thinking, ‘How wonderful. They are so free, they don’t mind me seeing his codpiece.’ It wasn’t disturbing. Actors were marvelous for us kids, because they were a bit like us.”{Interview, Spring 2021, pp. 131-33)
Are children harmed when others see them naked?
If a child has learned to be ashamed of their body, then exposure can be embarrassing and uncomfortable. But kids aren’t harmed in the least as a consequence of being viewed in the nude. The only potential for harm comes from the shame and judgmental reactions others might dish out in response to nudity.
Young children are quite comfortable with their own nudity. (Phipps-Yonas et al., 1993) They generally have few qualms about being seen in the nude, and “were quite undisturbed by the presence of adults.” (Gunderson, Melas & Skar, 1981) In fact, kids tend to be exhibitionists at heart, and “[childhood] voyeurism is prominent for both sexes,” note psychologists Samuel Janus and Barbara Bess. (Janus & Bess, 1981, p. 79)
Examples of this can be found all around us. As a little girl is dancing for a video, her two younger brothers, ages 4 and 6, come out of the room naked and start dancing behind hair. (AFV, aired 4-5-2009) A boy in an elementary school fashion show turns on the runway and then flashes the crowd while modeling swimsuits. (AFV, aired 5-16-2008) Three elementary school kids, two girls and a boy, routinely disrobe and dance naked for the camera. (Schroeder, 2012)
Brooke Shields, who at age 11 played a preteen prostitute in the move Pretty Baby, which included some nude scenes, says “It didn’t make me uncomfortable.” Nor did the fully nude photo shoot she did at the age of 10 with a professional photographer, naked and oiled up. “Every single photo shoot was a performance for me,” she says. “I enjoyed the performance of it all.” She says these sexualized experiences didn’t bother her at all at the time, only the “repercussions” that came decades later from judgmental adults. (McNeil, 2023)
Even when you see an incident of exposure turn ugly—say, when a child kills herself after a nude photo she sexted to someone in confidence is leaked to the entire school—it isn’t nudity or the exposing of her body that created this harm, but sexual shame and the negative judgments of others that drove her to suicide. Indeed, the activity probably felt exhilarating and affirming at the time she engaged in it, only to take a destructive turn once others brought their negative judgment into the situation. Here’s the real tragedy: If we raised kids to be more comfortable with their bodies to begin with, this vulnerability wouldn’t exist (or at least it wouldn’t be so profound). You don’t see teenagers in the U.S. killing themselves when a facial portrait is made available to others. The only reason a nude photograph has the potential to be any more destructive is because of the way we condition kids to be ashamed of these areas through our uneasy relationship with sex and nudity.
Growing up Natural: Why Nudity Can Be Beneficial to Children
Many families (as well as many other cultures) adopt a more open and relaxed approach towards nudity. While such a lifestyle might seem strange to those of us who are reared in the more typically oppressive American household, research suggests it is actually a far healthier approach to take with children. Relaxed attitudes toward nakedness and the body are associated with higher rates of self-esteem and positive body image in children. (Story, 1979) And studies of children who grow up in nudist families who frequent nudist resorts show that not only is such an upbringing harmless, but these kids actually grow up happier and healthier than their more oppressed peers, precisely because they’ve had such experiences. (Smith & Sparks, 1986)
So contrary to what many in our society would have you believe, it seems that allowing children to see others in the nude—and to be seen naked themselves by others—is the healthiest way to raise children, according to science. Many are no doubt questioning how this could be, since it runs so contrary to what we’ve all been led to believe. There are many reasons why embracing nudity can have such a positive impact on children:
A) Shame isn’t healthy for children, and body shame can have profound consequences. Embracing nudity sends the message that the body and its senses are something natural, beautiful and good, whereas the typical American upbringing promotes the idea that the body is something shameful, vile, disgusting, repulsive, sinful, and altogether wrong. Not only are attitudes toward the body deeply woven into one’s sense of self, (our bodies are ourselves, after all), but this body shame inevitably leaks into many other aspects of a person’s psychology, since any type of shame about ourselves casts a cloud over one’s entire essence. Therefore children raised in repressive environments where the body is shunned and there is little to no affirmation regarding their sexual selves can be expected to have a lower self- esteem and decreased mental health. (Fossum & Mason, 1986, p. 83) The consequences of this can be quite profound: everything from sexual dysfunction and relationship dissatisfaction to things like depression, self-hatred and suicide are directly tied into the relationship people have with their body.
B) Fear and discomfort go hand in hand with a lack of familiarity. So when children are raised around open attitudes toward nudity, it leaves them more at ease with these issues. The opposite sex seems less mysterious and threatening, sexual situations lose their stigma and aren’t nearly as scary, and people in general seem more relatable.
C) When children are comfortable with nudity and the sexual areas of the body, it eliminates the potential for many types of trauma. Wardrobe malfunctions, doctor visits, gynecological exams, exposure incidents, clandestine photos—when children are raised to be unashamed of these areas there can be no trauma, humiliation and suffering. Essentially, the typical sexually repressive American upbringing plants land mines all around a child that are waiting to blow up and wreak havoc in their lives. Embracing nudity erases these vulnerabilities, or more accurately, prevents them from developing in the first place.
D) It also eliminates a lot of the unnecessary heartache parents put themselves through. Ifyou sit down and think about the amount of anxiety adults devote towards trying to censor this aspect of our existence—the diversion of questions, the lies about where babies come from, the fear over the possibility of any type of exposure—I’m sure you’ll find it’s quite significant. All these worries would go away if parents simply embraced these natural elements ofhuman nature.
E) Allowing kids exposure to what other bodies are like removes the black cloud of mystery surrounding our physical selves—a cloud from which numerous insecurities arise. “In a society unadorned by clothing,” write Dorothy Babcock and Terry D. Keepers, “children see the differences between themselves, the other sex, adults, pubescents, etc., while they are growing up.” (Babcock & Keepers, 1976, p. 121) Allowing kids exposure to the range of what’s normal for human bodies reduces insecurity about their own bodies. Scores of people could have been spared decades in the psychologist’s office by a regular visit to a nudist beach when they were growing up.
F) Open and accepting attitudes toward nudity/sexuality make the process of maturing so much easier, significantly decreasing the struggles kids experience during puberty and adolescence. As one woman says of her parents’ accepting approach toward sexuality and nudity in childhood: “This easy attitude about sex helped me accept with no problems the fact of my growing physical maturity.” (Morrison et al., 1980, p. 75) It’s no exaggeration to say that 80-90% of the struggles experienced by American adolescents would be wiped away by healthier and more accepting attitudes toward the sexual aspects of ourselves.
“It will be important to me to inform my children about the total human body rather than to ignore sexuality as something that doesn ‘t exist. I don’t want my child to go through the same fears and anxieties that I experienced.”
-A young woman (Morrison et al., 1980, p. 54)
Actress Rosario Dawson, who “grew up around nudists,” says that she found such a lifestyle “very empowering,” in stark contrast to the more shame-ridden traumatic upbringings typical of children in more oppressive environments. “I heard a story about a teenage girl—she and her boyfriend were going to be intimate for the first time,” she says, “and he freaked out when they got naked because she had a labia, and she had hair. In all ofthe pornography he had seen, there was no hair.
“So this moment that should have been really special between these two people who loved each other ended up turning into this crazy situation because we are so distanced from any kind of healthy exposure and acceptance and expression of our bodies and ourselves.” She goes on to talk about why she thinks art exhibits depicting nude bodies are “critically important” for developing healthier body attitudes among youth.(Interview, March 2018,p. 185)
“We were always naked as kids,” says actress Florence Pugh, who credits this free-spirited upbringing with her ability to maintain a healthier relationship with her body as an adult. “I think that attitude definitely has trickled down from when I was a child.” (Schama, 2023)
Another woman shares similar sentiment: “I consider it my good fortune that I never thought sexuality was dirty or horrible like so many people I talk to have thought. I never learned to be ashamed of my body. My parents didn’t teach me this, I just absorbed their ideas. I was never punished for exploring my own body or for being curious and finding out what other bodies were like. Our family just didn’t make a big deal out of sex.” (Morrison et al., 1980,p. 114)
Heidi Klum, when asked how she’s able to feel so comfortable in her body naked, says that as a kid, “my parents were running around nude in the house. We would go to [nudist] beaches. We had a camper, and we’d go to places where everyone is nude.” (People, Feb. 19, 2024, p. 1) Naturally, she grew up to feel very little shame over the physical aspects of herself.
We also see a generally positive effect among adults who, for whatever reason, wind up engaging in public displays of nudity. Actor Abdul-Mateen II says he found doing nude scenes “liberating.” (People, Nov. 30, 2020, p. 87) Hunger Games actress Jennifer Lawrence also said that she found it liberating when she eventually did a fully nude scene in a movie, and that it helped her better cope with the trauma of having nude photos of herself stolen and leaked on the Internet several years earlier.
Nudity, the Bible & Religion
One of the major forces feeding into shameful body attitudes is religion, and here in America, such scorn is usually coming from fundamentalist Christians. We’re used to being told by religious leaders that nudity is wrong and showing too much skin is sinful and immodest. Which is quite ironic, because such attitudes run in direct contradiction to both historical Christian practices and the teachings of Jesus Christ himself.
Many people don’t realize that during Biblical times when scripture was being written, nudity was far more commonplace (especially among children), and it wasn’t nudity but clothing that was seen as immodest, since clothing has always been a status symbol. Early Christians who were baptized—men, women, and children—were all stripped naked and baptized in the nude, because this was seen as a more natural and acceptable way of presenting oneself to God. (NGC, 2008) In other words, nudity was seen as pure and good.
In fact, modern day Christians would be surprised to learn that Jesus himself advocated for something of a shame-free nudist lifestyle. In the book of Mathew, chapter 6 verses 28-29, he tells his followers: “So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow. They neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.” (New King James Version) Call me crazy, but that hardly sounds like an endorsement of the type of body shame that is instituted throughout Christianity today. Rather, it seems like the namesake for their religion is telling followers that their bodies are like beautiful flowers and that they shouldn’t be ashamed to show them.
In the Gospel of Thomas, (not contained in all Bibles) Jesus reiterates this principle, telling his disciples: “When you divest yourselves of your clothing without being ashamed, and take your clothes and trample them under your feet as the small children do, and step on them, then shall you behold the son of life and you shall not be frightened.” (Hoeller, 1989) Although this passage was given as a parable in a spiritual sense, it is nonetheless quite clear what Jesus thinks about nudity and body shame.
The type of shameful attitudes toward nudity preached by modern religions also suffer from a much more profound and fundamental flaw: If God is the creator, then nudity and sexual inclinations come directly from God—the same God who is said to have crafted us with such precision as to count the very hairs on our head. So tell me: When religions shame our natural selves, are they truly serving God’s will, or spitting in the face of the creator?
Despite outward appearances, shaming children over nudity or sexuality has never truly been God’s mandate. There’s plenty of room for both faith and sexually healthy attitudes to co-exist.
How parents should handle nudity in their household
If you’re worried I’m going to tell you that you need to become nudists, or should strip down and start streaking in front of your children, relax. If you’re like most of us who’ve been raised in the typical American household, then discomfort with the body has already been deeply woven into your psyche. Attempting to suddenly break with this pattern would be extremely awkward and ill advised.
It does, however, mean that…
A) Parents should do all they can to break with this cycle of shame and promote a more open, relaxed, and free-spirited attitude towards nudity in whatever ways they feel comfortable with.
B) We certainly shouldn’t be ostracizing those children and families who are comfortable with nudity just because they don’t share our body shame and complexes. Nakedness is healthier both physically and psychologically, so the fact that families are having the police called on them for letting their kids go naked is just plain ridiculous.
As for trying to promote a healthier atmosphere, here are some tips:
If your kids are still little…
Children are born without any shame or discomfort regarding their bodies, and parents should do what they can to keep it that way. This means trying to avoid all the subtle messages that teach kids body shame while looking for ways to encourage nudity in appropriate situations:
- Allow them to go nude around the house.
- Let them wander around naked before and after baths.
- Don’t scold them for exposing their bodies. If it’s an inappropriate situation (like the supermarket), explain this to them, but don’t punish nudity.
- Do your best not to act ashamed of your own body.
- Teach them the correct names for all their body parts and use these words as often as possible.
- Use our workbooks on raising sexually healthy children for boys and girls, which feature coloring sheets and mini-books designed to help de-stigmatize the body and get kids more comfortable with all of its parts.
If your kids are older…
If your kids are in grade school or older, chances are they’ve already internalized a great deal of body shame. You want to do your best to preserve any innocence they have left and limit any future damage by promoting a healthier climate going forward:
- When they express body shame or discomfort about exposing themselves, counter it: “I understand why you might feel embarrassed or self-conscious, but you really shouldn’t be. Those areas are just as natural as your fingers and toes.”
- Consider keeping books around the house that depict tasteful nudity for kids to explore on their own, such as those featuring Renaissance paintings, indigenous cultures, or nudist lifestyles.
- Acknowledge your own discomfort, but admit that it’s irrational and a hang-up you wish you didn’t have.
- Most of all, stop judging others negatively for body exposure, especially in front of your children.
References & Citations:
- Fossum, M., Mason, _. (1986) Facing Shame: Families in Recovery. New York, NY: Norton Publishing, 1986
- Hoeller, S. A. (1989) Jung & the Lost Gospels. Wheaton, III: Theosophical Publishing House, p. 189
- McNeil, Liz (2023) “No one gets to own my truth but me,” People, March 27, pp. 76-82
- Morrison, E.S., Starks, K. Hyndman, C. & Ronzio, N. (1980) Growing Up Sexual. New York: Van Nostrand Reinhold
- National Geographic Channel, (2008) ‘Taboo: Nudity,‘ aired July 28
- Schama, Chloe (2023) ‘Free radical,” Vogue, Winter, pp. 50-60,105-106
- Smith, D. & Sparks, W. (1986) The Naked Child: Growing Up Without Shame. Los Angeles, CA: Elysium Growth Press
- Sommers, S. (2011) Situations Matter. New York: Penguin
- Story, M. (1979) “Factors associated with more positive body self-concepts in preschool children.” Journal of Social Psychology,
- Turnbull, C. (1981) The Forest People. New York: Simon & Schuster