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There’s a fly in the window. Perhaps you know the type. He’s been at it for quite some time, buzz, buzz, buzzing up and down the glass, perusing every square inch of its surface. He knows what he wants: the fresh air and sunshine he can see right before his eyes. He thinks he knows how to get there: straight through this strange, invisible surface. Freedom seems so close he can almost taste it.

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Of course, you and I can see the fly’s efforts are hopeless. No matter how many times he buzzes up and down that window, it’s not going to let him through. No matter how hard he presses, no matter which spot he checks, the glass will hold firm. Yet the fly continues his efforts, methodically searching for a passage. His mind settled on this one particular idea, and now he’s stuck–too consumed with this singular focus to change his mind and try a different approach.

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Buzz, buzz, buzz … by now our poor little fly has got to be feeling frustrated. He will exhaust himself at this task, even to death, doing the same thing over and over again and hoping for a different result. If only our fly could be flexible in his thinking, willing to broaden his perspective and try a different approach, he would see that there’s an open door just a second or two away.

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You and I may scoff at the antics of the fly. ‘What a silly thing to do,’ we think to ourselves. Yet the truth is that all of us can be just like that fly at times. We become so focused on a particular goal, a particular desire, that we can’t see another way around it. We develop tunnel vision, becoming trapped inside our narrow focus, bound by our limited perspective, held hostage by our ideas. If only we’d open our mind to other options–other ways of doing, being or seeing–we might discover that what we need is somewhere close by, it just isn’t where we’re looking.

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Sometimes we get stuck in a certain way of seeing things. We have our ideas about what’s right or wrong, good or bad, normal versus abnormal. We form opinions about what others should be and how they should act. We’ve narrowed our mind, creating a prison inside our own thoughts. We then proceed to drive ourselves crazy when the world (and the people in it) fail to conform to our expectations. We trap ourselves by insisting things should be a certain way, just like that fly in the window.

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But who’s to say our way of thinking about things is correct? Certain things are universally wrong to be sure, like when someone is intentionally hurtful, cruel or violent. But beyond that most everything else is dependent upon our thinking–the ideas we form about what something means and how we should feel about it. We can make ourselves happy or sad through thoughts alone and the stories we tell ourselves to explain the world. Sometimes escaping our pain is as simple as trying out different ideas.

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We develop goals and plans, and are quick to get upset when things don’t go our way. If something happens to disrupt our plans, or life unfolds in a way we weren’t expecting, we get frustrated and say to ourselves, ‘How horrible is this! Life is so unfair! I didn’t get what I wanted and now I’m doomed to misery!

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Yet I’m going to let you in on a little secret: Often times things work out just as well when our plans are disrupted and things go a different way. You’ll find joy in unexpected places. The things you thought you needed in order to be happy might turn out to be not all that important after all. What is lost will be followed by new things found.

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A different path brings different opportunities, and in the great unknown resides wonderful treasures you never anticipated. Yet if you’re so busy being upset that things didn’t go a certain way, you won’t be looking for new possibilities. If you remain so focused on the door that has closed, it’s easy to miss all the doors that are opening.

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So do yourself a favor: Don’t be like that fly. Be willing to change your mind and try new things. Shift your focus. Look in different directions. Open your thoughts to new possibilities, and explore the full, wonderful, messy miracles of life. You just might be amazed at what you find!

Picture Credit for Doors on World: Kenny Scharf: Visit California; Elliot Ross; Jamie McCarty; Country magazine


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