Why Kids Behave “Badly”
As the quote at the beginning of this chapter alluded to, just about everything kids do is something that we WANT our children to do . . just not necessarily with us or in these particular ways. We want kids to stand up for themselves . . .just not against us. We want kids to be passionate about their interests…just not so passionate that they throw a fit when things don’t go their way. In the same way that one man’s terrorist is another man’s freedom fighter, what seems like negative behavior to us only appears that way because we as adults have competing interests.
All negative behavior also contains some positive attributes that we can notice and pay attention to. Doing so will reduce stress and help you stay more relaxed as a parent. It’s more productive to tell yourself “what an impassioned 4-year-ald I have” as opposed to “what a moody brat I’m raising.” Whenever your child acts in a way you don’t like, rather than getting upset and bent out of shape, refer to this list.
None of this means that you ignore inappropriate behavior or fool yourself into believing that bad behavior is actually good. We’re not g implying you should play ostrich and stick your head in the sand. It simply means that you also take time to see the good traits that are exhibited in what we adults label as “bad” behavior.
A child who talks back to you…
Is developing the courage to express their opinion and learning how to argue on behalf of their own interests.
A bossy child is…
A youngster with strong leadership qualities; a visionary who trusts in herself and her abilities.
A child who is a conformist…
Also possesses good teamwork skills; is a rule follower; likes to please others.
A shy quiet child…
Is one full of introspective; who possesses reflective qualities has a rich inner life.
A strong willed child…
Is assertive and independent; loves expressing their autonomy; possesses strong feelings and a desire to make the world right; has good leadership traits.
A moody or emotional child is…
Impassioned about life; full of inner richness; in touch with their emotions.
A child who is argumentative or opinionated…
Is a good negotiator; has a strong zest for life; is equipped with a passionate sense of right and wrong.
A defiant child…
Questions authority (often a good trait, except when that authority is you); is willing to stand up for what they believe in; possesses bravery and is willing to take the initiative.
A picky child could also be seen as…
Discerning; a lover of consistency; someone #ith refined taste who demands the best.
A child who won’t stop talking…
Is eager about life; has good social skills; is an excellent communicator.
A timid or fearful child…
Is cautious, careful, protective, or prudently suspicious.
A child who appears lazy…
Possesses a calm and relaxed disposition; is good at taking things in stride; takes time to appreciate life in the moment.